ABOUT THE BABY + PARENTING
I can't tell you the amount of times I've googled "why do newborns..."
This is especially nerve wracking when you've fed the baby, changed his diaper, burped him and made sure he wasn't too hot or too cold.
Gas and a stuffed nose? Didn't even think about it.
There's been a few nights, Bode has filled our ears with 3 hours of bone chilling screams, a huge burp and then nothing but smiles. #phew
Then the crying starts again. Stuffy nose! Get the nasal aspirator. He really hates us when we use this. Poor buddy.
This scenario is a snippet of what we and every other parent endures with their first child.
We are clueless. It's a complete guessing game of, "what should we do?" We are doing okay, mostly thanks to my Mom who is the expert in calming our baby and our nerves while slowly shuffle walking while we all regain our sanity. #godsend
ABOUT MY BODY
So, 6 weeks post childbirth and I am FINALLY feeling somewhat like myself. I know myself and while I don't have Post Partum Depression, I can say, there have been days where I am crying about the lack of sleep, our old life and how I can't wait to lose this extra weight.
But most importantly, I can't wait to feel good again.
If you've had a C-Section, you'll feel me on trying to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, our bodies are amazing (moms remind me ALL the time)! AND YES, a human came out through my stomach, (I KNOW, UNBELIEVABLE), but I can't help but feel pissed at my body.
"I trained you, I worked you out, I fed you nourishing foods and you betrayed me."
Feels so good to write again and admit that I feel betrayed by my body.
It's this whole mind//body//connection thing, except I feel like my body and mind didn't connect throughout labor and it's taken me 6 weeks to accept it.
This is what I call a "cleansing process," and I see much more emotional healing over the next few weeks.
I have researched day in and day out about babies and moms post c-section, I joined Facebook support groups to not feel so alone in this process and it's helped. I've even asked family members if they have friends who've had C-sections and if I can reach out to them to know that what I'm going through is "normal."
I'm reminded about MY path, MY journey, MY experience and that it will be like no one else's.
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
It's true! I've read about women running 4-6 miles within the first few weeks post c-section.
In my experience, week 3 was the toughest! For a full week, I dug my nails into my leg as a diversion to the agonizing, burning pain to walk from my bed to the bathroom. I would've cried, but it hurt my stitches too much.
I went a full week without narcotics, only to regret it and need to take them longer.
And here I am, week 6, wearing mascara and blush again and feeling a helluva lot better!!!
I can't wait to help new mama's going through the same experience. I now have a very special place in my heart for women who've gone through the whole pushing process and ended in an emergency c-section.
People have told me that weeks 6-8 are game changers.
Time heals. Lesson learned. Here's my never ending reward.