Imagine yourself as a snail. Only appearing when you're alone and hiding in the shell when you sense people looking at you.
The same comparison applies to people. Yes, snail vs. people.
We use our extra body weight as protection and armor in hopes that we will go unnoticed. People won't look at me if I gain more weight and men won't give me any more unwanted attention. Except that the only person hiding is you, from yourself.
That extra layer doesn't protect you from the outside world, it forces you to live small. How do I know this? I know this because when I went through a break up and didn't want any attention from men, I allowed myself the freedom to eat without counting calories, to eat without shame or guilt, what I like to call "freedom eating." I learned quickly that the idea I had created was more like "trapped in a cage, hoping no one finds me eating."
I gained 20 pounds and only realized how much weight I'd gained when a doctor said my weight out loud. "WHATTT!?!!?! Are you sure it doesn't say 125?"
Shakes her head.
Now the real work has to begin.
What you believe about yourself will come true. The low self-esteem will attract other wanderer's and you'll wonder where your life went wrong. How did I end up with these kind of friends, this career and this body? That's the first step: AWARENESS.
I am noticing what's around me and I don't like it. I want things to change, but I don't know how.
Step Two: Seeking support. Call in the big guns. A health coach, mentor, friend, counselor, career coach, running buddy, nutritionist, trainer, instructor, guru, healer, whoever it is, call them in and work with them. Awareness feels good. Seeking support is scary. Trusting in the process is even scarier, but if you remember that trusting your instincts brought you to this present day, you'll let your guard down with the right person.
I like to call it a gut instinct. Even if hiring them means you'll have to get a second job or work longer hours, the value they'll bring to your life will be worth it.
So, you're aware of the self limiting beliefs and you've hired support, now what? Step Three: Doing the work. You know what's going to happen if you stay in step one and two? Nothing! You know that saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink?" That applies here. If you aren't doing the work the other 23 hours a day you are not with your support coach, what do you expect to happen? BUT, if you do the work, my friend, you are creating change within yourself and you are knocking down the self doubt and limiting beliefs. Remember that the things you tell yourself aren't from an outside perspective - that's all you baby.