I believe everyone does this when starting a new job, developing a new mantra or hanging out with a new special someone. In my line of work as a Health Coach, I help clients create their own daily affirmation that works for them.
A little more than 4 years ago I met the greatest life changer on this planet, my counselor. She helped me take my pain and use it to empower others going through depression, anxiety + food issues. One day we were talking and she paused in deep thought. She asked me to use a simple statement that would eliminate my self doubt. I thumbed through a few options, but none felt right to me. They all felt too "out there." I wanted something that felt like my own.
I told her I would think about it and come back the next week with something great. I pondered all week and went into the weekend thinking about my simple phrase that I was supposed to repeat in my head all day. All the crap came first.
"You are too big. You are a failure. Why can't you follow the straight path?
You'll never make enough money. Who's going to love you when you don't even love yourself? No one likes you. They all laugh behind your back.
When people tell you you're pretty, they are lying. Trust no one. You are in this alone."
I stared at myself for a long time filled with self-hate. I had dark thoughts. I had to stop looking at my eyes in the mirror. I thought I was losing it. This was my darkest. I knew that the only way I was going to start feeling better is if I faked feeling good. I thought that if I filled my head with positive thoughts and read uplifting quotes, I'd start to smile. So I said, "One day at a time." And I repeated that little phrase for days. Days became weeks. Weeks became months.
"One day at a time" became, "YOU GOT THIS."
Then "YOU GOT THIS" became, "YOU ARE WORTH IT."
Eventually "You got this" + "You are worth it" started becoming mantras I believed in. For the first time ever I didn't look at myself in the mirror and think negative things. I thought, "I love my strong legs that have allowed me to walk. I am lucky to have two legs that get me from Point A to Point B."
The more I thought about everything I was fortunate to have, the less sorry I felt for myself. The dark clouds started to lift + sunshine broke through. Now the days are mostly sunny, sometimes rainy and occasionally dark and that is something I work on every single day.