The last candy, cookie, cereal, bagel, cake and ice cream I ate was literally 3 years ago. A story comes along with the reason why I quit eating these "foods."
There I was, tipping the scale at 148 pounds and 5'4", but I was damn good at hiding my weight gain. Lucky for me, I'm an equal weight distributor, meaning, my weight doesn't go just to my belly or just to my thighs, it goes everywhere.
I was leaving Safeway after I bought groceries when I met the man who I now call my fiance. Before meeting him I had been single for about 8 months and eating what my heart desired. In the same 8 months of single living, I came clean about my decade long battle with bulimia to my counselor. During the 4 months I saw my counselor, I had gained about 10+ pounds while trying to learn that I had used my eating disorder as a coping mechanism. Now that the coping mechanism was gone, I had no idea what to do with how I felt, so I took a stab at emotional eating and that's how I gained the weight.
Meeting my guy was a turning point. Within the first month of dating I told him everything. I told him things that my closest friends didn't even know, especially the eating disorder because I wanted him to know what he was getting into. It was my form of self sabotage + it didn't work. He stuck around, not only that, he gave me comfort + unconditional love when I told him what I'd gone through. I think that has something to do with why we are sitting here 3 years later about to get married.
I really hadn't noticed how much weight I had gained until I no longer felt comfortable in a swimsuit. I would wear long, heavy dresses when it was blazing hot outside because my thighs rubbed together and dresses were the only thing that made me feel beautiful. I remember going to the Dave Matthews Band concert at the Gorge where just a year before I paraded around in shorts and a bikini top, but I was a different person. Besides the weight gain, I was confused with the pouring of emotions. Feelings I hadn't dealt with and betrayal that I glossed over when I had my eating disorder. I shoved so many painful memories down that day after day, the pain grew too large to handle.
I knew things had to change. I had to change. I had to accept where I was + what I'd been through in order to truly move on. I had to forgive without speaking to the person who wronged me. I had to live in the present even though my past wounds didn't have closure.
Besides counseling, a huge help in all of this emotional turmoil was removing all forms of sugar from my diet. I read many books, talked to a detox specialist, my counselor and friends with a nutrition background about sugar. I decided that in order to live a happy life, I needed to find that away from food. I thought that I wouldn't gain weight because candy is often fat free, what I didn't know was that all the candy I was consuming immediately turned into fat on my body.
Slowly but surely, I ended up losing more than 20 pounds. I eased up on my workouts and strict diet + started listening to my cravings and what I really needed to feel good. I stopped reading about what worked for everyone else + created my own feel good lifestyle.
I found out that without exercise, I am a hot head. Seriously. I think women hold onto a lot of anger and unless you work out hard, it stays stuck in the body. I also discovered that if I don't sweat during the day, it's really hard for me to fall asleep. My body + mind thrive on breaking a sweat, even if it means taking a walk on a hot day. If I sweat, I sleep well. You've got to figure out what works best for you.
There is no magic diet or exercise plan, it is going through a journey + taking mental notes about what will get your through. I find that a lot of my clients need someone to talk to, someone to listen to their concerns and help them build a roadmap of how to get out alive.
I'll give my two cents and say this, removing fake food, like candy from your daily life will help. Take it from a former candyholic.